Life Goes On

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on. ~ Robert Frost

In my short 31 years on this Earth there have been numerous times I have had to tell myself that life goes on. Growing up I did not have the "perfect mother". For many years I held that against her. It wasn't until I lost her and then became a mother myself that I was able to let go of that. I quickly realized that no mother is perfect. We learn as we go and make many mistakes.

When I had my daughter this past March I was beyond happy! I had two beautiful girls and a wonderful husband. Life was perfect. On the outside maybe, but on the inside I felt my World collapsing. I had this need to be the "perfect" mother/wife. There was never a moment when I was NOT needed. Instead of asking for help I tried to do it all myself. When I was unable to make the baby stop crying, or fold all the laundry, or get dinner on the table at a reasonable time, I began to look down on myself. I was clearly un-deserving of these two gorgeous children that I created and un-fit to be a mother. Or so I thought! There were times when I would sit on my bathroom floor and cry for an hour. I begged God to just make me disappear.

It didn't dawn on me that this was not normal until I went to my 6 week check up with my OB-GYN. She asked me how things were going and I immediately burst into tears. Sobbing, I told her how I felt disconnected from the rest of the World. I was sad at a time when I should have been overjoyed. You don't need a medical degree to figure out I had Postpartum Depression. We came up with a game plan that included yoga, a journal, and an anti-depressant. I did hours of research on the computer learning about PPD. It has been four months now and things are definitely better. I wrote this post to share with other Moms out there that are feeling or have felt the same. You are not alone and PPD is way more common then many people realize. I also want to put this all behind me. After "writing" it down...I feel like I can finally let go and move on....

For more information on PPD please visit:

http://www.ppdsupportpage.com/